Killing Me Softly In A World Like This

August 30, 2013 4:00pm

That summer Nissa went down to Dallas, Texas to visit her mom’s best friend, Patsy. She hadn’t seen her since her mom had passed away in 2001. Patsy watched her grow from afar and she considered her, her aunt. Since she was her mother’s “Right Wing Man”. She missed her very much and she decided to go down to see her. She couldn’t go up to see her because she owned a diner. Called Patsy’s Diner. Coincidentally, Backstreet Boys were gonna be in town. She bought Nissa a ticket to the show and a ticket to the after party for her birthday. I don’t think she knew what she had done for her.

She arrived at Verizon Theater in Grand Prairie, Texas. She was there to see Backstreet Boys. This was her second time seeing them in. The first time she saw them, she was just 5 years old. Her mom had taken her to see them with her. Her mom was a big Kevin Richardson fan. She had been a fan since the very beginning. When the Boys were just beginning their careers. Even though she lived in Springfield, Massachusetts, she already had their music. She had a pen pal somewhere in Berlin, Germany. She had sent her mom a cassette tape of the Boys, and many posters. On September 4th, 1996 she was listening to “As Long As You Love Me”, when Nissa decided she wanted to come out. She was born on September 5th, 1996 at 2:58am.

As soon as Nissa got there, she went around back of the venue. She got to a gate. There was a group of fans standing there waiting to catch a glimpse of the Boys. They could see their buses parked. They said hello to each other and they just talked about their experiences with the Boys, and other concerts, venues, etc. They all had a good time hanging out back there. All of the sudden they saw Nick get off his bus, so they all shouted his name. He looked at them and they all waved. Ha! He waved back. Nissa was ecstatic because she had been dreaming about this man for a long time. As soon as he walked into the venue, she took to Twitter and Facebook. Posting statuses saying that she had already seen Nick!


It was time to go in. Nissa had to go Check in for the After Party, which she was beyond excited for. At that point nobody knew which boys were going to be at the After Party. She checked in and got a drink. And she just chilled till the show started at 7.

At 7 sharp she got to her seat. The lights had been turned off. The show was about to start. The opening acts performed from 7-9:30pm. Then the Boys came out with a bang.

Nissa was beyond excited. She couldn’t believe that after 12 years she was able to see them once again. She was old enough to understand her emotions and her fangirling. They performed for almost 4 hours. Every song they performed went right through her. It was a feeling like no other. It was like they had struck her with lightning. She thought it was one of the best shows she had ever seen. Yes, she had seen full shows on YouTube. And by far In a World like This tour was the best.

At the end of the show it was announced that Nick, Kevin, and Howie were gonna be at the After Party. She squealed. She couldn’t believe that she was gonna see Nick up close. She walked out of the theater area and got in line for the After Party. 10 minutes later they opened the doors to the Lounge where the party was happening. Nissa proudly showed her pass! And in the door she went.

Nissa stood behind the small crowd that got in before she did. They were setting up the equipment while the boys finished up their VIP appearances. 20 minutes later in came one of the bodyguards with Nick’s Mac Laptop. Once again she squealed. She was excited because she knew that it was Nick’s from seeing pictures on his Instagram and other sites that she followed him on. She also knew that they were about to make their entrance. One thing she knew was that it was gonna come down to pushing and shoving to get closer to him. She was determined to do so.

The doors opened and in came Kevin, then Howie, and finally Nick. The crowd went wild as expected. Nick went to the DJ booth and he started playing music. Then Kevin and Howie were up closer on stage to the fans. Occasionally, Nick would come out of the DJ booth to interact with the fans. It was a really intimate lounge. Perfect for an acoustic set, kind of setting.

The Boys announced that they were gonna bring groups of 5 girls onstage. And that they could go up and dance with them and take pictures. They all got excited. The party got started. Nick continued to spin and they were all dancing and screaming and doing everything that is expected in fangirling. The groups kept going up and taking pictures. And the closer to the stage Nissa got the faster her heart was beating. But while the girls were going up on stage and she was waiting patiently to get up there herself, Nick kept looking up from the turntable, in her direction. Not exactly at her…well it was one of those situations that he was looking straight at her but not paying attention to her. She knew he was just lost in the music. But to her it felt like he WAS staring straight at her. And he was stripping her soul. She felt him go through her and her soul was naked for him to see. At that moment the song “Killing Me Softly” by the Fugees was screaming in her head.

“Strummin my pain with his fingers,

Singin my life with his words,

Killing me softly with his song,

Telling my whole life with his words,

Killing me softly with his song”

Exactly how the song goes, is exactly how Nissa felt. As weird as that sounded. So she finally got next to the stage. She was in the next batch of girls to get on stage. The music stopped. Kevin proceeded to tell them that they had to head out. It was just Nissa’s luck to be so close but so far away. She got sad because she had been waiting 12 years for that moment. And it felt like he had broken her heart. And not only that, it was her birthday. Nick sets up the next song, and then he picked up the microphone and joined the other Boys at the front of the stage. He started singing one of her favorite Journey songs, Don’t Stop Believing. As she got into the song, Nissa reached out her hand to him. He grabbed her hand. And he held it for a good minute. He looked at her. The feeling was so strong that she thought she was gonna collapse on the floor at that moment. She didn’t. She sang along with him. The end of the song came and they said their thank you’s and goodbye’s. She snuck out to the hall where the Boys were gonna walk out to. There were 2 bodyguards standing in blockade. She tried getting past them because Nick was the last one to get off the stage. She was trying to get to him. The bodyguards succeeded in holding her back. So she yelled at Nick “Nick!!!…It’s my birthday!!!!” He didn’t turn around and left. Nissa made her way to the entrance of the Venue. She ran back around the venue where the buses were parked. As she got to the gate, Kevin was leaving the building to climb on his bus. He saw some fans standing over there and he came over. He took pictures and gave autographs. When he got to Nissa, he signed her After Party pass and she asked him, “Can you get Nick for me please, it’s my birthday and I want a picture.”

“I’m sorry sweetie, Nick’s already on the bus.” Nissa thanked him. But she was very disappointed. She waited till the buses left. Then she walked over to catch a cab. But as she was walking to the front of the venue, the moment from “Just Want You to Know” video where Nick gets out of the car and is walking toward his house and he says “That was awesome” came into her head. Nissa said it aloud and giggled.

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