Depression has always been a part of my life. Of course sometimes being bad and sometimes not being so bad (manageable). But one reason that contributed to my episodes was the fact that up until now I didn’t know how to drive. I grew up in the city so I had buses to go every where or I would walk because everything was so close. About 10 years ago, I moved to Texas. Here in Texas the closest Walmart is about 15 to 20 minutes away in a car ride. A lot of times even further. Depending on what little town you live in. And of course walking is out of the question due to the weather. It either rains to the extreme (Tornado forming weather) or it’s too damn hot to even breathe. Driving is a necessity here in Texas. So I’ve been depending on my Ex’s parents, ***Katya and Saul*** who have taken me in like one of their kids to go to and from work. Taking me to all my daughter’s appointments, you name it. They’ve been there.
When my ex and me decided to separate, I thought, eventually I have to move and all that so I needed to get my butt in gear. I made the decision of learning how to drive. At first I was driving a little. There was no rush so I wasn’t showing too much interest. But about a year later I met a wonderful man, ***Nick***. A man that has treated me like a queen. He’s been so patient and understanding with my living arrangements. He strongly believes that once I got on the road so many doors will open, job wise and lifestyle wise too. He kept nudging me towards my license. So one day I surprised him by going to get my permit. This was back in May of this year. From May to October, I drove and practiced. Katya, Saul, and Nick helped me by showing me the ropes. October came and I got my license.
Fast forward to 2 days ago. This girl just got her first car. I’m in love with my little car. It’s not perfect, but it’s so perfect for me. So far this new found freedom is settling well with me. I think this will help with all my sadness. I’m not big therapy shopping so I won’t have a problem there. If the weather is good and I see I’m slipping, I’ll go take my daughter to the park. Things like that. There’s so much excitement at the moment that I don’t have time to let the cloud of sadness fly over me. This moment to me is the beginning of that light at the end of the tunnel.
***Names have been changed for privacy purposes***