First and foremost, I am not by any means a doctor. This is my account of how I deal with my conditions every day. I want you to know that you are NOT alone. To understand what I’m all about, I have to go into a little of my past and my diagnosis. So here goes.
My parents separated when I was 7. My mom packed our things and moved my sister and me to Massachusetts. My dad didn’t oppose because he knew that we would have a chance of better life up there. You see we come from Puerto Rico and even back then things were becoming rough. Fast forward to 2 years later, I started acting out. Mom started to take me to counseling because they attributed my behavior to my parents separation. To be honest it had to do with it but there were other things that were also contributing. Like mom was dating and I still had the typical divorce kid thought that my parents would get back together. She then met someone, that has been in the picture since then. They got married in 2000 and that was rough on me. So many things happened between all that and the moment i was diagnosed.
It was 2004 when I was hospitalized the first time. I was in the psych ward for a week and a half. In that time I was observed and they decided that I had Bipolar disorder (A disorder associated with episodes of mood swings ranging from depressive lows to manic highs), and psychosis (A mental disorder characterized by a disconnection from reality). The psychosis in my opinion is a misdiagnosis. due to the fact that the reason they said i had was because my mom kept telling the psychiatrist that I talked to my posters. I promise, I wasn’t crazy. I had isolated myself and I didn’t have friends, so I would talk to my posters of the Backstreet Boys to vent and doctors took it the wrong way. I don’t talk to them anymore since I don’t have the need to.
Last time I took any medications since 2009. Since I haven’t had any medical insurance, I haven’t been able to treat it. I have been able to manage it on my own, only dealing with mild episodes of mood swings. But last night something was different. I woke up feeling blah. But it was different. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I also knew that if I had gone into work, it was going to be bad. So I called into work. I laid in bed a little longer and I tried to get out of the funk by putting on a movie, but that didn’t work. Went to go pick up my daughter from school and we went to the store and I was hoping that would help. But it didn’t. I had never felt the way I did last night. So I decided that a blog might help me deal with all this. Hopefully I’m correct….